
Following the Men, Hardship and Triumph series of podcast interviews, this is the second series of Shooting the Breeze with Clement podcast called Men, Parenting and Triumph.
In this series of interviews, Clement talks to different people to get their understanding of the difficulties that they encountered with regard to the subject of male parenting and how they handled the situation.
In this episode, Clement speaks with Mateo who hails from Manila, the Philippines. Mateo moved to Sydney in 2016 to pursue and complete an Economics degree. During university he was involved with the Economics Society where he had his own podcast series, College Life. After university, he spent time doing PR consulting work in Malaysia and the Philippines, returning to Australia in 2019. Mateo currently works with a major bank, helps with the operations of a dance school, and is completing an acting course. In his free time he reads philosophy, humanities/modern history, science fiction, working out at the gym and spending time with his lovely girlfriend.
Mateo discusses growing up in a household with domestic violence, sensing conflict from a very young age, walking on egg shells, the shattering of his concept of an ideal family and his adultification. He discusses what he learnt from his parents' relationship and what he would do differently. He also discusses the healing of the relationship with his father as an adult.
Summary of discussion:
1. children can sense conflict at a very young age, much younger than the parents think and the danger of adultifying them.
2. the difficulty of breaking intergenerational cycle of violence.
3. the importance of his father's acknowledgment of his behaviour in his later years as a way to help Mateo achieve closure.
4. Mateo's ideas of how he would parent his own children after learning from his father's mistakes including
i. creating an honest and open connection between father and child where the child can feel safe enough to express his needs without fear of repraisal
ii. understanding that each action has long term implication to the child therefore requiring more thought than just impulsive action based on emotions and
iii the need to "build your house to your advantage".
To listen to this episode, go to https://www.clementdjaja.com/podcast/episode/de733c2f/men-parenting-and-triumph-episode-1-with-mateo
Feedback/comments: clementcounselling@gmail.com
Website: clementdjaja.com
To listen to other podcasts in the series, go to clementdjaja.com or type "Shooting the breeze with Clement" on your favourite podcast app.
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